Are Inter-Caste Marriages Really Affecting Kashmiri Culture?
Are Inter-Caste Marriages Really Affecting Kashmiri Culture?Rate:

Are Inter-Caste Marriages Really Affecting Kashmiri Culture?
Tags: Marriage, Jammu and Kashmir, Kashmir

Usually it is believed that Birth and Marriages are not planned. I have heard it for a long now and this is the Law of Nature as well.
But these days Kashmiri Pandit Society is in a huge dilemma. As children of Kashmiri Pandits moved out for higher education and Jobs, there has been a higher rate of intercaste marriages. It is obvious because a person who is getting an education in a particular state eventually forms a bond with that state or area, and usually, this is not what is accepted in the Kashmiri Pandit Community as such.

I have several of my friends married to Non-Kashmiri Pandit guys, still, there is a thinking that keeps people far away from those who have done intercaste marriages.

Why are we bringing Kashmiri Youth's Intercaste Marriage?
I was part of a WhatsApp group where Kashmiri People used to help each other or maybe the group was created with the objective of connecting Kashmiri Pandits.

There were several usual chats in the group including sharing God Images, sharing of latest Kashmiri News, and even Job Updates.

One fine afternoon, a gentleman asked for some help for his daughter-in-law, and another person asked to share the details as might be he can help. As the gentleman shared the details, he said "No Intercaste Accepted ... It is a bitter fact ... Our community will vanish".

He could have offered not to help, but pointing out Intercaste Marriages as the reason for the cultural loss of Kashmiri Pandits is something that no one was expecting. Or maybe they were!

After that, the gentleman thought of leaving the group.

When this happened, no one replied even with a single word ... Is this the view of all Kashmiri Pandits?

Maybe Yes or Maybe Not, I cannot say for sure, but as per my reasoning there will be around 30% to 40% of Kashmiri Youths that may have or may tie a knot with someone who is not Kashmiri as per origin and this is not just because of the exodus that happened, but it was already happening.

This is what happens with all the communities

As people explore new territories, they are exposed to new societies and some might think of settling down in those places.

What does science say about the cultural mix-up?
As per science, intercaste marriages are good, and the same is good as per our Hindu Scriptures. Let me explain why;

As per nature, if there is more diversity in marriage, in that case, there are fewer genetic diseases that are carried forward. The offspring are better suited to new environments. The same is the reason why Hindu Scriptures also say that we should not get married in the same Gotra.

What used to happen in the past?
History is filled with evidence of Kings and Queens marrying other Kings and Queens across different territories. Moreover, if a girl marries a Kashmiri Pandit, she is going to be part of our community and practice our culture, that is why she married in the first place.

What is happening today?
Unfortunately, in today's society, there is a belief that an ideal Kashmiri Boy or Girl is one who marries a Kashmiri Pandit. Any other marriage is seen as a blemish on Kashmiri culture and heritage, at least in the minds of some.

Marriage between a non-Kashmiri girl and a Kashmiri Pandit boy does not dilute the Kashmiri culture. In fact, it may indicate that the non-Kashmiri partner is interested in the culture and wants to contribute to it, and the same can be said vice versa.

I have witnessed several intercaste marriages in Kashmiri society that have worked out beautifully because the couples knew what they wanted. It is within our own hands to preserve our culture and heritage, and it cannot be erased as long as even one person on earth practices Kashmiri Culture.

Furthermore, several Kashmiri Youths who have married within the community do not participate or contribute to the Kashmiri Society. On the other hand, I have seen people who have done intercaste marriages and are working towards the betterment of Kashmiri People.

Why should we change this narrative?
Marriage is a bond that is made in heaven. By using such phrases we insult this sacred tie that is in between a husband and wife.

On the contrary, we should be happy for our kids if they are happy in their lives and not make their lives hell just because they married someone who is not of your community.

Many people also have issues within the Kashmiri Community as well. There are some sub-castes in Kashmiri Pandit society that are considered not eligible for marriage to other Kashmiri Pandit Castes.

But we should understand that the Pandit title just means Expert, it doesn't mean that Kashmiri Pandits are the only Brahmins and others are not good enough for them.

For example, if someone Teaches the he or she is a Brahmin
If someone has a Business in that case he or she is a Vaishya
If someone Fights for a living in that case he or she is Khstreya
And if someone provides Service to others in that case he or she is considered to be Shudra

And I believe today most of the people in Kashmiri Pandit Community provide service to others in Corporates, so most of us belong to Shudra.

So I believe we should work on our own selves instead of trying to correct others.

Although several people in Kashmir Pandit Community don't believe in having any issues in intercaste marriages, because the one thing that destroys a community is its own bad practices and not intercaste marriages.

On the other hand, intercaste marriages are the most natural form of survival in this world.

Even if you think otherwise and don't believe in intercaste marriages, you can still keep your ideas to yourself and not broadcast them to others, so as to be kinder and not hurt any sentiments.

At last, I would like to address this issue of us not standing.

If we won't stand for anything we will automatically be dragged to stand for the opposite.

At least we should learn about India's Policies. Even if we are not supporting any of the segments, if something wrong is happening we should stand against it.

If someone said something wrong, and you have not replied, that means you also agree with them.

Keeping shut on everything is really wrong. If you see something happening wrong, at least have a say against it. This behavior of us always keeps us on the back foot. We never want to say anything if nothing wrong is happening with our own family. We are still living in silos and don't believe in supporting each other.

With this article, I want just to encourage people to be humble and kind to others. Pointing out something that you think is harming society might be helping us to rebuild it from scratch.

Have you thought about how would it feel if a state or country said that Kashmir Pandits Are Not Accepted Here?

If you are reading this article, then most probably will be living in a different part of India or the world maybe for education or job purpose, think if you are not allowed to work or use the resources of other communities!

The same is with our groups as well. If someone has asked for help, and just because their kids are married to Non-Kashmiris, in that case, you cannot be rude to them or say that Non-Kashmiris are not accepted.

If you don't want to help, please don't help at least don't point out these things as if they are traitors to Kashmiri Society. It is important to remember that intercaste marriage is not a foreign concept in Kashmiri families, and it is likely that many families have had at least one relative who has married outside their caste.

As a Kashmiri, it's crucial to understand that the real Kashmiris are currently residing in Jammu and Kashmir, grappling with serious issues. They are frequently targeted, and their focus is not on intercaste marriage but rather on their survival, which is fundamental to all living organisms on Earth.

Let's take this opportunity to discuss things that are more important than ensuring that You are reborn as Kashmiri Pandit in the next Birth or about things like Marriages.

You don't know if you will be born as a Kashmiri in your next life. However, if we continue to hold onto this mentality, I believe we may not be reborn as humans in our next life.

Author: Suhul
Are Inter-Caste Marriages Really Affecting Kashmiri Culture?